top of page

The Push And Pull Dynamic

Untitled (1280 × 720 px) (21).png

Enjoy Our Free Video! Or Read the Article Below

Article Brought to you by the MoodMe app! 

Free Relationship Communication App! Share over 400+ moods, emotions, and desires with your lover! Download now!


The Push and Pull Dynamic


In the push-pull cycle, one person craves intimacy, and another actively avoids it. Essentially, one is a chaser, and one is a runner. At first, both partners are connected, then suddenly, a fear-based shift occurs within the avoider. The avoider begins cooling off, shutting down. The motivation that was once there begins to fade as the partner’s effort begins to decrease incrementally over time, or suddenly the avoider may just ghost, break up, or disappear. This sudden change in behavior can be shocking, thus leaving the person who had their heart open and vulnerable confused. The emotional exit of their avoidant partner leaves the other feeling abandoned, like the rug was pulled from under them. The panic of their avoidant partner leaving may cause the chaser to try harder to put more effort in. It might activate abandonment trauma that they experienced as a child. “Come back to me. Please don’t leave.”  Unfortunately, the runner views this as more pressure and more demands. The chaser could begin nagging or saying things repeatedly, such as, “I miss you. I wish we could spend more time together. You haven’t been very present lately. Let’s plan a date. You’re working again? You’re playing video games again? You’re hanging out with your friends again. You’re going out again?” The chaser will run circles around similar phrases or topics to try to get the runner to wake up again and love them like they did not so long ago. The chaser may feel helpless, sad, and anxious as their energy becomes drained from ruminating on the fact their partner isn’t the same as they used to be. It’s important to note the power dynamic of the runner and chaser. The runner has most of the power because they become a rare resource because they are scarce. Scarcity has a way of breeding more desire. As the chaser runs after their partner, they put themselves in a weaker position energetically. However, everybody has a breaking point, even the chaser. At some point, they will come to the conclusion that it’s not worth chasing anymore. They will become fed up, and they will regain their strength. Their self-esteem and self-worth will begin to awaken within them as they say to themselves, “That’s enough. I’m worth more than this. I’m done chasing you. If you want to go, then go.” This gradual change within the chaser is noticed by the runner. Suddenly the view of the relationship feels like less pressure, fewer demands, less scary, and more exciting. The runner stops in their tracks and turns around to see a partner that is once again desirable. Unfortunately, the person who was chasing isn’t as motivated to love the runner in the same way as they did before. They may have garnished resentment and distrust for having been put through such a grueling process. Thus the chaser and the runner switch positions. The power imbalance shifts. 

Don't stop now! Check out our next article!


With The MoodMe App You'll Have Clear, Honest, and Emotional Communication

Let your lover know your mood and what you currently desire

All relations need some form of clarity to grow and flourish. We made it easier for users, like you, to keep your relationship healthy with the Mood Status feature.

Your lover will have the option to view, validate, and comment on your moods. You can also request your partner's mood.

We chose to include this feature because it gives more
clarity to those around you about what you're feeling right now and how you want to be treated.

You'll also be able to track your own moods over time, build emotional awareness, and create personal strategies for managing your moods!


Keep Your Fiery Relationship Alive
Weekly Check-ins


Are you currently in a relationship?

If so, we have a feature for you!


This feature is called the couple’s weekly check-in. 


A relationship is like a business as two people are coming together to pursue a common goal. 


Therefore, there should be weekly meetings or check-ins to make sure that both of you are on the

same page and satisfied.

Instead of letting things build and blow up, use our weekly check-in feature to easily ask deep and important relationship questions generated by the MoodMe research team. 

Explore each other’s answers and get a relationship rating to track the progress of your relationship!

Mr. Moodling

MoodMe is revolutionary! I finally have a place to check in with my girlfriend. When this app launches it'll definitely be worth a download.

Mrs. Moodling

My emotions used to be hard to understand, and I often felt lost. I love that MoodMe has so many moods to choose from. The app really goes above and beyond in explaining the depth of different moods and makes it easy to understand. There is a lot of power in the simple technique of naming the emotion you are feeling AND being able to share it with my partner.

Junior Moodling

I love the Mood Statuses.  It really helps me understand my own moods and emotions too. It's like social media and a mood tracker all in one. A very clean, modern app for emotional communication.


Build Trust. Handle Conflict. And Create Better Relationships all with MoodMe

What Our Trialists Had to Say...

bottom of page