- Nicole Lunan
How to Heal Your Relationship NOW
Welcome to relationship mistakes 101 and today we are going over one relationship mistake that will tank your relationship! This mistake is one of the main causes of breakups, and relationships coming to a sad sad demise.
And this doesn’t just happen in intimate relationships, but friendships, and family too. When there is a total lack of this, relationships can turn sour very quickly! Stay tuned to find out more.
Hi Moodlings, I’m Dr. Nicole Lunan, the CEO, and Co-Founder of MoodMe and specialist in emotional intelligence and Mindfulness. I bet you are wondering which relationship mistake we will cover today. Sad to say that we have all most likely done this to people we love, and have it done to us, and we get it done to us it feels like a sucky slap in the face.
What is it?
LACK OF APPRECIATION.
Have you ever gone out of your way and done something really kind for someone and in return, they didn’t acknowledge this beautiful act of kindness?
Maybe the first time you let it slide, but then after a while, that unseen beautiful act of kindness quickly slips into frustration, anger, and dare I say resentment?
When we don’t appreciate people in our lives,
They may feel unimportant and withdraw
Arguments will occur frequently and cause unnecessary drama in the relationships
They may find appreciation elsewhere
It could completely ruin a relationship, as both parties will feel taken for granted.
Now, I’m going to tell you something you probably don’t want to hear, but it’s very possible that some of the people in your life feel the same way about you. And you may think. No Way! I am so appreciative.
Even though we may feel deeply appreciated inside, most times we don’t say it enough aloud. We keep all of this deep profound appreciation inside of us instead of verbally affirming it to the people we love and care about, or to even a stranger who was kind to you on the streets.
So let’s go over some quick action steps to raise appreciation in your relationships
When you see your partner doing nice things for you, and you want this to continue it’s imperative that you acknowledge them.
Whether it’s something large, like taking you on a nice vacation, or something small like opening a door, give them praise.
Verbal affirmation and positive reinforcement do wonders for people!
If you fail to do so it could feel like you take them for granted, and sooner or later they may stop doing these nice things.
Compliments go a long way in helping another feel appreciated. For some reason criticizing has become more common than compliments.
And I am here to tell you that you can more bees with honey.
More love with sugar.
Place your attention on how this person is adding value to your life and watch your relationship blossom.
Relationships run into big problems with complaints outweigh appreciation and compliments.
One way to recognize your partner’s effort and appreciate them is by writing them a card or appreciation letters. Remember when we used to get love notes in school. We felt special.
Why don’t we do this anymore?
There is something super special about receiving an appreciation letter. And you can do this to everybody in your life that you care about.
Appreciation letters heal relationships and keep them healthy.
In the letter, you can
Say thank you by acknowledging the little things they do every day
Give specific examples of what they have done and how they add to your life
Appreciate the things that make them unique
Now, reciprocation is super important when it comes to appreciation.
If you feel underappreciated in your relationship, create a time every week where you sit down and list 10 reasons why you appreciate each other.
When both partners begin to appreciate each other for all that they do, they often start a cycle of continuous appreciation and gratitude towards each other.
Discuss with your loved one how would you both like to be appreciated?
How can you show each other appreciation?
Appreciation isn’t a single act, it’s a practice. It’s something that we incorporate into our lives on a daily basis.
This may sound like work because at first, it is!
You may have to reteach your mind to see the positives and highlight the good things about people!
Like Tony Robbins said, “Trade your expectations for appreciation, and your whole world changes in an instant.”
But once you begin and see the fruits of your labor you aren’t going to want to stop.
Gratitude is contagious, and others will start to feel more at ease with you, want to build a deeper connection, and be around you more because they feel acknowledged and seen.
So there you have it, appreciation saves relationships!
Don’t wait, take action now right after this video, and write an appreciation letter to someone you care about. Smile and hug a loved one! Spread the light
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