Dear Empath, Stop Being An Emotional Sponge!
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Dear Empath, Stop Being An Emotional Sponge!
My name is Dr. Nicole Lunan, a 10-year energy healer and emotional intelligence specialist, as well as the CEO and Co-Founder of MoodMe, a new app that allows couples to share 400 + moods, emotions, and desires with their lover, thus making communication simple, fun, and super easy.
Today we will discuss practical techniques that empaths could use to stop being an emotional sponge and use their empath abilities as a superpower. This video is a part of our empath master class series.
If you’re an empath, you already know that you uniquely experience the world. Empaths have the innate ability to feel other people's emotions as if they were their own. This allows them to understand people in profound and intimate ways and heal emotional pain.
Although empaths have the unique ability to feel other people’s emotions, empaths can pick up too much from others energetically. Empaths typically struggle with taking on or sponging in the weight of other people’s pain and problems. I think this is done because empaths are natural-born healers, and this is the only known technique they know of to help other people feel better. By sucking in all the pain, like the guy in green mile, only they have a hard to pushing it out or letting it go. So, it gets stuck inside and causes chaos and heaviness for the empath
My intention for this video is to help YOU empath and learn how to tap into other ways of helping heal and support the people you care about without putting yourself at a detriment or acting as an emotional sponge.
We will start with coaching tip #1
Reframe the way you look at empathy
First things first: To reclaim our heightened empathy ability as a superpower, we have to reframe how we think about being an empath. I admire a few superheroes with high empathy, mainly from the X-men series: Gene and Professor Xavier. They are both empaths, and at first, when learning to control the gifts, they were highly overwhelmed. There are scenes specifically of Gene as a child allowing her emotions to run wild and therefore wreaking havoc on anything around her. Ultimately, they wanted the outside world to stop the mental chatter for like five seconds so that they could get some peace and quiet. But in the end, they learn the nuances of their gifts, and they become complete badasses, and that’s what I want you to be, an empath badass, someone who uses their abilities as a strength, a superpower, and not a weakness.
Here's the truth being an empath, you’re not going to turn it off, you can dull it, but it won’t ever fade completely. It will always be in the background, even if you try to mute it. My next question is, why would you want to turn away from your purpose? There’s a reason why the universe has granted you this specific ability. You may have been made fun of in the past or called sensitive or crazy, but guess what? Greatness doesn’t come from living inside the box. Greatness and madness are two signs of the same coin. People tend to shun away that which they don’t understand. Just because some don’t understand you doesn’t mean that your gift isn’t valid and isn’t something to be proud of. I believe in you, empath. I believe in your miracles, and you are not alone.
Ok, so if you think about a gymnast who starts on average at five years old, learns how to do a cartwheel, and learns how to do a back handspring, some coaches help this gymnast grow and blossom into the whole elite athlete. Not many schools teach sincerely about emotional intelligence or how to understand our empath abilities, thus causing most of us to go through self-exploration. So be patient with yourself, empath! Empathy is a muscle, a skill, a talent, and just as the gymnast grows to reach great heights, you too can do this with empathy when you practice, when you understand that the empath ability goes far beyond just being an emotional sponge.
So, let’s talk about tip #2
Learn to shine instead of shrink
There’s a light inside you, empath; it’s what attracts people to you in the first place. Instead of looking at yourself like a sponge, reframe and view yourself like the sun, a source of light that shines brightly onto others. You don’t have to take the emotions into yourself to heal another person. You can use your inner light and shine bright enough that the vibrations of others work to match you. This is the underlying strength of an empath. I believe that you first begin learning how to receive, and once you have mastered that, you can learn how to emit light and passively heal anyone in your space with little or no energy loss for you; why? When you raise your vibrations high enough to emit light, you get healed and are left with an energetic halo. Almost as if the light itself has touched you.
Instead of shrinking under the weight, expand, shine, and grow more significantly. Allow your light to create an orb around you; you can make it as big and small as you’d like.
There are a few ways to do this, and I will create a guided meditation around this. But visually, imagine your inner light glowing instead of seeing yourself as shrinking and your light being slowly drained. By focusing on the center of your body, you can begin to feel your soul, your essence, and that is where your light will originate from. Hold your hands together and push your energy outwards. Grow your energy field larger. You don’t have to hide your love and light from the world. Look out for my guided meditation on this in our empath master class playlist!
Love is the most potent vibration on this planet. It will overcome negative thoughts, feelings, or energy. And Dear Empath, you have a lot of love inside of you. You can channel it into a forcefield of light.
My guess is that you already do this; this is why people are so attracted to you in the first place. They see the light shining from you and trust being in your presence. They feel safe and calm.
The trick is to learn how to control it and turn on the light like you would a light switch and stand in your power.
Now to really shine, you’ll notice that you’ll have to start taking care of yourself. Feeding yourself good foods, lots of water, good sleep, and plenty of exercise. That’s when an empath's light shines the brightest.
Coaching tip #3
Learn to create a healing container or Hold Space!
I have a secret to tell you, and there is a way that you can help your friends and loved one's process their emotions and come out energetically clean, unscathed, and light as a feather. How do you ask? Many of the issues that empaths run into are the internalization and soaking in of another person’s energy. You can create a healing container that will hold the other person’s energy instead of allowing it to sponge into you. Imagine the energy instead going into this third-party neutral container, where it will remain safe to explore itself, heal, and process. This technique that therapists, healers, doctors, and coaches use is a type of compartmentalization that helps us get through the workday. For example, therapists are typically empaths, and when they get to work, they throw on their healer hats and prepare their healing containers. These containers act as pre-existing boundaries to help the therapist hold space for their clients. When they are done with their day, they take their healing hat off, close the containers and let go of them. This type of professional enables them to work with many people in one week. Some see up to even 35-40 clients a week! So, there is a way, and it is possible! So the next time your empath abilities are activated, create a container outside of yourself instead of sponging in the energy.
This container acts as a barrier that sucks in all the access energy of the other person so I can look at it without internalizing it. The best way to heal and help another person isn’t by sponging in their energy; it’s by holding space. Literal space, lol. The container is the space. And once you are finished connecting. Close the lid on the container and send it off with love to be recycled and renewed. Even if you are not a therapist or coach, you can still switch to that professional healing mode because empaths are natural-born healers. Once you get used to this exercise, it will be far easier to detach from others’ energy and stories.
To add a little extra protection, I like to say. “I let go of any energetic attachments created during this meeting.” Or “I now close this energetic connection.”
Coaching tip #4
Stay away from Energy Vampires
Energy vampires come in all shapes and sizes and will come out to you with different strategies. For example, you may meet a vampire that wants to control you, and they hide behind a “poor me” or victim attitude, thus sucking off your empathy little by little until there isn’t much for you to exist. Or maybe you meet a date on tinder who seems nice and says the right things, shows a lot of effort, but after you get done with dates with this person, you feel drained, dark, and unsure. Like poison has just been injected into your energy field. Or maybe you’re standing in a crowd, and there’s one stranger that gives you the creeps, and you would do anything you can to get away from this person, but you don’t know why.
Yes, Energy Vampires or leeches can be hard to spot if you don’t trust your intuition. They may technically do everything right and hide their tracks, but energy doesn’t lie. Empaths are Vampire food because empaths have tasty, nourishing energy, and they are more than willing to be generous.
My advice is to be specific about who you let near you and be clear about who you choose to support. Listen to your energy levels. If you feel consistently drained by another person, do your best to avoid them. Leave the room, don’t answer them when they call, don’t let them guilt you, and walk away from that creep in the crowd. Don’t try to heal an energy vampire!
Coaching tip #5
Keep track of your Life Force Energy
In many video games, the characters have an energy pack. Sometimes it’s fully charged as you pick up renewal battery packs, and sometimes after you’ve been fighting or doing spell work, your energy gets low. This concept can be applied to real life. We have these imaginary battery packs floating around us that keep track of our life force energy. When we have lots of energy, it’s almost as if we are shining and radiating light. When our energy is low, our shoulders slump, our bodies hurt, and our lights dim. Bad things happen when our energy is low; therefore, listening to your life force energy is essential. Dear empath, if your energy is down, you cannot help others. You have to help yourself first; you have to put yourself first. Like on planes, you have to put oxygen mask before you help others. If your life force energy is low, you are vulnerable, and your energetic boundaries are weak, you will have difficulty keeping your energy separate from others. This is when you will be the most emotionally spongy.
This is the time when you will feel overwhelmed, and this is the time when you need to get some alone time and space. Alone time, self-care, exercise, sleep, and space will recharge you, empath! You have to honor your energy to use your empath as a superpower.
Alright, alright, you have five coaching tips on how to stop being an emotional sponge and instead use empathy as a superpower. Did any of these tips resonate with you? Let us know in the comment section below. Stay tuned for more videos in our Empath Master Class series, and see you later, Moodlings!
Don't stop now! Check out our next article!
With The MoodMe App You'll Have Clear, Honest, and Emotional Communication
Let your lover know your mood and what you currently desire
All relations need some form of clarity to grow and flourish. We made it easier for users, like you, to keep your relationship healthy with the Mood Status feature.
Your lover will have the option to view, validate, and comment on your moods. You can also request your partner's mood.
We chose to include this feature because it gives more clarity to those around you about what you're feeling right now and how you want to be treated.
You'll also be able to track your own moods over time, build emotional awareness, and create personal strategies for managing your moods!
Keep Your Fiery Relationship Alive
With Weekly Check-ins
Are you currently in a relationship?
If so, we have a feature for you!
This feature is called the couple’s weekly check-in.
A relationship is like a business as two people are coming together to pursue a common goal.
Therefore, there should be weekly meetings or check-ins to make sure that both of you are on the
same page and satisfied.
Instead of letting things build and blow up, use our weekly check-in feature to easily ask deep and important relationship questions generated by the MoodMe research team.
Explore each other’s answers and get a relationship rating to track the progress of your relationship!
MoodMe is revolutionary! I finally have a place to check in with my girlfriend. When this app launches it'll definitely be worth a download.
My emotions used to be hard to understand, and I often felt lost. I love that MoodMe has so many moods to choose from. The app really goes above and beyond in explaining the depth of different moods and makes it easy to understand. There is a lot of power in the simple technique of naming the emotion you are feeling AND being able to share it with my partner.
I love the Mood Statuses. It really helps me understand my own moods and emotions too. It's like social media and a mood tracker all in one. A very clean, modern app for emotional communication.